Monday, November 9, 2009

A fairy tale

I normally know exactly what I want to write about when I wake up in the morning because it's something that has happened to me recently or something that is going on in my life, or stuff that I am interested in. As of right now, I am mostly interested in weddings and people getting married.

This weekend I had a discussion with some of my closest friends about marriage and divorce. We each come from very different backgrounds, but we all get along great... we each have very different views on marriage and divorce. I wont name names or say what their backgrounds are, but I would like to discuss how I feel about the topic and why I feel that way.

I do not necessarily believe in "happily ever after." I do believe in marriage and I do believe in love... and I do believe that some couples last forever, but I do not believe that love is a fairy tale world. I think that in a lot of relationships divorce may someday be necessary and that it definitely can be an option. I know a lot of people get married thinking they'll NEVER get a divorce and that it is a sin to divorce, but I believe in these circumstance divorce may be necessary. Every couple goes through different things and different situations and in some cases divorce may be needed. I don't think a couple should have to suffer together and stay married if they have fallen out of love with one another, one of them cheats on the other, if the relationship ends up abusive or even if you are just plain unhappy with the person you once fell in love with and have attempted to make it work but just can't seem to.

I think if you marry someone you should go into it thinking you'll never get a divorce and you want to spend the rest of your life with that someone. But I also think that if something comes up (like some of the things I have listed) that it is not a sin to get a divorce or to start your life over with or without that person. God will accept you either way and I'm sure he would just want you to be happy.

Marriage is not a fairy tale. And 50 years down the road you're not going to be in your honey moon stage canoodling over each other. There are going to be situations where you don't want to be with that person anymore and sometime you work through them and sometimes you don't. But don't live your life unhappy, just putting up with that person because you think it's a sin to get a divorce or because you don't "believe in divorces." Shit happens and everyone has their reasons. Be happy and enjoy the person you're with... but not every couple last forever and no relationship is a fairy tale.

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