Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Wedding Pressure

I, of all people usually don't get annoyed when someone talks about getting married or engaged, but for some reason these days I am so over the question, "So, when are you getting married?" I almost get asked daily and it gets old. For one, it isn't really up to me... I have to engaged first and clearly I am not, so ask my boyfriend the question, would ya?

Yes, I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. And yes, I am 26 (and a half) years old. And yes, the majority of my friends are married or engaged or have children. But, seriously... do you really think I am ready to be married? I can't see myself with a wedding ring on my finger (an engagement ring is a different story). I can't honestly imagine telling people I have a husband. And I really cannot begin to fathom having a child! It's craziness!

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be engaged... plan a wedding, have a long engagement, and figure out my future plans with my boyfriend rather than just kind of sitting in the unknown. But I have my doubts at this point in time about actually BEING married. Here's why...

"Traditionally, the father of the bride would pay for everything. Today, however, the bride and groom themselves pay for the wedding about 30 percent of the time; the bride's parents pay about 17 percent of the time. As for the rest of the time, costs are covered by different sources -- the bride and groom and one or both sets of parents, according to surveys by Bride's magazine."

If my boyfriend and I were planning a wedding right now, we would get about $1000-$2000 worth of help from my parents... and none from his. Him and I would be paying for nearly everything. As for now, he is too selfish with his money and doesn't believe in spending money on just one day and as for now I am $20,000+ in debt from school, so a wedding is kind of out of the picture unless we put ourselves in debt more with credit cards to cover the cost.

"According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America, 
the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%."

My parents divorced after 25 years together. They are still battling over money and spousal maintenance today... they've been separated almost 4 years. The amount of money my parents have spent on lawyer fees could have paid for my 4 years in college. My boyfriends mother was married three times, all three ended in divorce. I know that you can learn from your parents mistakes, but these reasons are more than enough to make us both cautious to get married.

"Marrying younger than age 25 dramatically raises the divorce risk. "

As mentioned above I'm only 26. I know the fad at this age is move in, marry, have baby. But, geez I'm ONLY 26. Now days women are having babies into their late 30's and early 40's, why do I need to get married NOW? I honestly wouldn't mind getting stable, paying off the majority of my loans, getting a reliable car and then get married and have a kid... can't I wait another 3, 4 or even 5 years?? I know I've said in other blogs that I'd like to have a kid before 30... but that's right around the corner and currently I am just not ready.

Sorry about the vent today folks. Needed to get the pressure that has been building off my chest, hopefully no one asks me why I'm not engaged or when I'm getting married or I'll be directing them to this blog post.  


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